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Talk:RevenantDusk
"I honestly wish I could be gone from this world" topic "I hate my life, I'm always bored and depressed. Nothing good ever really happens to me, ever since I was little I remember wishing I could have friends, every friend I've had has always betrayed/left me, really I'm a loner that hates being alone all the time and I've always been that way. I find it hard to make friends actually, especially with other males, I remember always wishing I had other boys to play with and just do boy stuff together that my family(Comprised of females at that time) wouldn't understand or like, I never did though, I remember one time I was at a playground and actually got up the courage to approach a group of boys, who were probably a little older then me(I was around 5 at that time) and asking if I could play with them(Don't remember what they were doing) and they said we could play ball but that they had left it on one of those toy bridge things on the jungle gym, and if I could get it for them, I was really excited and I ran up there as fast as I could only to discover there was no ball, they had followed me up there, and started trying to push me off the bridge(Which was pretty high up) but before they did it my mom saw them and they scrambled, I sat on a bench for the rest of my time there, other times I tried to get kids to play with me nothing as dangerous happened but I was always rejected and insulted, so eventually I ended up giving up and always playing alone. I also remember trying to play with girls, which resulted in a similar incident where some girls who were probably about 12-13 pushed me into a deep ball pit that I was terrified of, and would let me climb back up the ladder to get out until some random Asian girl came out of nowhere and got them to back off. I still really don't have any friends nowadays, I do everything alone, I still find it difficult to make friends with other guys, girls are easy to hang out with except most of the ones I meet are horribly annoying and start treating me like I'm their gay friend or another girl after a while, I find it shocking how they'll openly talk about manipulating guys, using them for sex, and say things like "Men or pigs" or "I hate boys they're so dumb" right in front of me. As far as girlfriends, I have horrible luck there too, as you all know, Nessa, my first gf, left me cause she "Wanted to focus on school and a career"(What career? Shes still in damn high school, and as for school I'd always write her essays for her anyway and she got good grades for it), my other gf after that(Who I really cared for) left me cause I wasn't Indonesian, all other girls I've liked have rejected me straight out. Don't even get me started on my obnoxious, lazy family. have two 12 year old cousins now(I was 5 when they were born) when they were born my aunt couldn't take care of them so my mom and grandmother did, they had a lot of health problems and were very difficult, therefore all attention was given to them, nobody did anything with me anymore, took me anywhere, or anything, I felt like a ghost, this continued until I was like 11, leading me to become even more withdrawn, lonely, and depressed. The boy actually has the same problem I did when I was younger(As far as having no father and nobody to do boy stuff with), I try to play with him sometimes, but he hates me, I wish I could help him. If you wanna wonder what I do day to day, I pretty much just eat, play video games, study, maybe take a walk or go fishing, then go to sleep, all my supposed "friends" are selfish and could care less about me. The other day I was out in Coney Island, catching crabs with a net in the shallow bay waters(My favorite place) I started imagining walking into the deeper waters with a strong current, thinking how nobody would no I did it on purpose, then I snapped out of it and started catching more crabs. Idk why I'm typing this, I miss Lizzy, she always eased my depression, but shes long since abandoned me too."